Pretender
by Tusk Act IV
Summary: If only Yotsuba had been transferred to his school...was that too sweet to be a lie?


**Disclaimer: I own neither the series nor the characters. The original fic is Pretender by ななせ**

* * *

Right now, it felt like a lie.

An impossibility.

When I saw your face, the only thought in my mind was that this must have been what fate felt like.

"Uesugi-san...Uesigu-san!"

"...! Who are you?"

"Haha...so you finally looked my way."

The hair color and style had changed completely but the ghastly look of your face was still the same as back then. It was easy for me to recognize who you were.

"Why do you know my name?"

"I read it on this 100-point test."

"And what about that one in your right hand?"

"This one is mine."

"Also, the score there is-"

"Zero!"

"How can you proclaim that with such confidence?"

On that day, I made a promise that I would do that best. I wasn't able to fulfill it so I can't tell him my identity. I hope someday I can study as much as he did. Just from our first meeting, i found my determination renewed.

"Woah! Uesugi-san is my tutor!?"

"Your father hired me...if I take of this idiot, I'll be able to meet Yukichi-san."

"By the way, the idiot you're talking about..."

"Don't pretend to wonder, you stupid ribbon! It's useless to make an innocent face right now."

I'm the stupidest sister. When I heard that a private tutor was hired for me, it felt like the anxiety would crush me. Could I really perform well? But the moment I realize that it was you, all of those bad feelings immediately disappeared.

"We're studying in the library?"

"I really wanted to do it at your house but...do you have any sisters?"

"Oh yeah...all of them attend a girl school so they may not be that used to talking with boys. They may object to bringing one up."

"That explains it. The last time I passed by, at the entrance, someone asked me if I was astalker."

"It's good that they didn't let welcome you up. They may have slipped a sleeping pill in your drink."

"You're joking, right?"

It wouldn't be easy but I wanted to challenge myself to study harder. I didn't want to show that I had been slacking off since then. But after school, I found you waiting in the library for me. That's when I promised not to work alone but to work hard together.

"Unuuu...I really don't know any more."

"Don't give up and try your best. Keep thinking desperately and someday an answer will come to your head."

"It's easy for Uesugi-san to say such things."

"...that's different. It's because I was also such a fool in the past.

"Ah."

I was surprised when I asked further. You remembered running around Kyoto with me five years ago. Of course, he didn't realize that I was the idiot, in question. Still, the very fact that you also cherished those memories comforted me enough so I could continue tackling the problem.

"Alright! I'll do my best!"

"You've been working awfully hard recently."

"Because midterms is soon and...other reasons..."

"Other reasons? Like what?"

"I'll tell you the day when I don't have any failing marks on all my tests."

"And just when will such a day come...?"

I studied and worked hard for my mom. I couldn't achieve my goal after she died. Still, right now, I understood that I was given a chance to start over so I tried to study once more.

"It's too hard, Uesugi-san! The fireworks show is about to begin too!"

"That makes it better. If you don't finish your homework, you never be able to go."

"Then, is Uesugi0san coming too?"

"I can't go there...that's not my sort of thing."

"I want to see fireworks with Uesugi-san!"

"Homework."

"...yes."

...Well, maybe after the fireworks is over, it wouldn't be too bad to light up some incense fireworks in the park."

"...is this what they call a tsundere?"

I really liked talking with you as you grumbled while playing with your bangs. Such precious irreplaceable time was something I wanted to be immersed in forever.

"It's the midterms!"

"It's the first time I've felt nervous before a test..."

"Are you feeling okay, Uesugi-san? Will it be okay if you're feeling that nervous?"

"That's my line...well, uh, hold on."

"...?"

"...Do your best."

"...Of course!"

It's the first exam that you encouraged me on and yet I got a disastrousresult. You were even the one who told me about it because I couldn't even look at it. I felt so guilty about my score telling you, "I'm sorry", but you just replied, "Don't worry about it." You said we'd do better in the next one.

That you haven't given up on me, on us, ignited fires that had been once smothered by feelings of resentment.

"It's because I like you."

I said such a thing to tease you. You're unbelieving face when you I said it was very cute. Oh, I felt that I could say it over and over again. What should I do? It doesn't feel like I could stop myself."

"...Huh? Wait, what...!"

"Just a lie."

"Huh? Then that's..."

"Did you believe it? Did it excite you a little."

"...No way."

"...by the way, I'm terrible at lying."

"Wait, then what you mean by that is-Yotsuba! Oi! Where are you...so which is..."

Yet I still didn't have any qualifications to say such things. Because of that, the words that came from my mouth were misterpreted. Someday, surely, I'll say words you'd understand aren't lies. Yes, I swore that secretly in my heart.

"Do you think the Legend that Binds is true?"

"Of course not. There's no basis for such rumors."

"Uesugi-san isn't a romantic."

"That's just how things are. Anyways, the snow will be pretty chilly, so make sure you don't catch a cold."

"It's fine. After all, they say idiots don't catch colds."

"...so if we consider the reverse, if you catch a cold, you won't be an idiot?"

"...Your eyes are a bit scary there, Uesugi-san."

Even when we made a joke about it, you ended up catching a cold on the field trip. Apparently, you caught it from your sister. While I heard your dad took over, you were also worried enough that you looked after her as well. It seems you haven't changed from being the kind of person who seemed indifferent to others yet exhausted yourself to take care of them.

I didn't want to see you end your school trip with such a lonely end so I sneaked past the teachers and held your hand as you lied sleeping on the bed. I wondered if you would wake up. I couldn't know. As such thoughts floated through my mind, I could hear the sounds of the campfire finale outside.

I wish the legend came true.

I held onto such feelings with the same effort I put into holding your hand.

Tightly. As hard tightly as I can.

"What I want..."

A trembling voice reverberates in the dark. Right now, it was only the two of us in the night-lit park. Even though such a situation would have made me happy, such a voice was what came out. You eagerly asked "What do you want?" and yet I was still hesitant to answer.

To distract you, we rode the swings together. Then, if I showed off a great jump, I'm sure you would imitate me as well. Where did the heavy atmosphere go? Two people smiled and soon ended up laughing together.

That's when I noticed.

"What I want is Fuutarou-kun's smile."

You blinked at how I suddenly used your first name. I had vowed not to say that name and yet I couldn't help it. Because, just for this moment, my mask had came off.

"Why did you suddenly say my first name?"

"Well...I wonder?"

"Yotsuba! Don't run ahead or you'll get lost!"

"Well, if I don't, Fuutarou-kun won't chase me!"

I laughed a time already forgotten. Just like it was five years ago, laughing, and chasing, and pulling. Such a lovely moment that felt like it gently wrapped around two people once more.

"The second semester's results were terrible but surely this third semeseter...!"

"It's fine. Your results have been steadily improving. Actually, you should have been okay last semester if you hadn't been mercilessly recruited by that track club."

"Ah...that's in the past, isn't it? More than that, this time let's concentrate on passing all the exams!"

Such a tragedy won't happen again. I didn't want to leave your side anymore This time, I will put this feeling into words. Every day, I spent my time studying. I think I've never concentrated so much on my studies in my life. I devoted all my time to studying so much...of course, I felt like burning out in the middle of it but I did my best.

While studying at home, I was also asked to teach my sisters. When you teach, knowledge should already be organized in your mind. I was able to realize such a thing when my grades went up by helping them. Speaking of which, the only subject I can actually teach is Japanese but I felt like I was able to atone for my past sins through this.

"Yotsuba! The result is..?!"

"Ah..Uesugi-san..."

"How was it? How'd it go?"

"...I've always struggled in the past, suffered, and never got any results. I always studied alone.

"..."

"But then I met Uesugi-san. I really enjoyed the two of us studying in the library after school. I...!"

"...you're crying."

"I'm not...I...Nee, Uesugi-san."

"What?"

His response was gentle because he probably already knew the words I would say next. My mouth curled cheerfully, a smile emerging from the bottom of my hard. Of course, the hold over my eyes were gradually beginning to loosen.

"I feel like I've been rewarded for the first time ..."

Such a cry leaked from my throat.

I grabbed your clothes as I cried in front of you. The light taps I felt on my back only spilled more tears over.

"It's a school trip! A school trip, Uesugi-san!"

"Right, so what's up with all these jobs?"

"Uesugi-san is the class representative and I'm the assistant."

"That's not true. Also, don't go reccomending people..."

"Well, it's fun to work with someone else, right?"

"Hmm."

After school, in the classroom, against the backdrop of the setting sun warming the city outside, I approached you. The curtains fluttered and the wind shook my hair. Then, bringing my face close, I whispered to your ear.

"I have something to say on the school trip."

"What? Say it now."

"Uesugi-san has no emotion."

"Fine then...but we'll be on separate teams, won't we?"

"Then let's do it when we get free time! I really want to go to a shrine there."

"...Okay."

"It's a promise!"

I ran away from the classroom, as if trying to escape from your questioning stare. I wonder if it was still safe. I haven't been noticed yet. It also might be that I've been noticed this whole time.

With a half-floating, half-pounding feeling in my heart, I left the house with my heavy baggage. I would be heading to Kyoto since the first time I met you. Since the promise we made that day.

"How nostalgic."

"...that's right."

The scenery from the top of the Shimizy castle remained unchanged since that day. While i was a little scared of the height, when I came here, the feelings from back then easily rushed back. What I wanted to do now was to take a picture and buy an amulet. With you next to me.

"Why not take a photo?"

"Alright. Say cheese."

"N-not that! I don't want it alone...rather..."

"...it's because no passerby's would take it."

"What a bad excuse!"

I tried to forcibly grab you who refused to do so. It was easy enough to ask a nearby person to take the photo for us. Like before, I was smiling as you looked away from the camera.

"Have you ever been here?"

"Oh, once in the past."

Soon, we arrived at the promised place. At the time, I didn't even know the name of this place even though it would be the last important place for me to visit.

Just being in this old shrine sent my heart throbbing.

"A long time ago, there was a person who reached out to me in Kyoto. Together, we-"

"I know."

"...what?"

"I know that girl."

Your eyes widened in surprise when I mentioned it was a girl before you revealed it.

I was surprised to open my eyes that I told her the gender of the girl, even though she was not a girl.

"200 yen"

"Why do you know..."

"...and for two people, 10,000 yen each, wasn't it?"

"...Yotsuba."

It's easy to understand how upset you were as I swept my hand over the top of the donation box. Did you finally realize why we had come here?

"Hey, Fuutarou-kun."

The name I thought I wasn't qualified to say. Back then, I had broken the promise we had made but now...

"Did you remember my face at last?

"...that's right."

"I worked hard.

"I've been watching you this whole time."

"My mom died so I can't fulfill the promise we made that day anymore. Since then, I've been a complete failure."

"...oh."

"But I was able to meet Fuutarou-kun again! This time, I can wholeheartedly tell Fuutarou-kun...even if I'm not good at studying, even if I failed my tests, even if I broke our promise, I really did my best! I...I really gave it my all!"

A deep tearful voice echoed across the precincts of the dark night. Tears spilled on the ground and soon disappeared into the darkness.

I was crying the whole time. I didn't know why but all the feelings from before up to now were overflowing.

And, suddenly, you gently wiped the tears in my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't notice."

"You're really insensitive."

"I'm a really stupid guy, huh?"

"Stupid! Really really stupid...!"

Of course, I had also went out of my way so he wouldn't notice. I didn't want him to find out I was still a stupid child since that time so I had continiously lied to him. But, maybe now, I've become a person who could stay by your side.

That's why there was no need for such lies anymore

"So, is that what you wanted to say?"

"Were you able to guess it a little?"

Your cheerful smile changed into one that looked a little mean. I was so embarrassed that I was worried about whether to say anything at this point. But if I don't say it now, such things would never be said.

"You know, Fuutarou-kun..."

I closed the distance between us and looked up to meet your eyes with my own. Grasping your hand, I brought it up to my chest so you could feel the loud thumping of my heart.

"Fuutarou-kun, for the longest time, I've-"

* * *

I had a terrible dream.

If my sisters hadn't followed me at the time...that was the worst kind of dream I had.

A dull pain continuously rang against me head, beating against it to keep me awake.

I could barely manage the pain, even forgetting to put on my favorite ribbon as I groggily sat up and crawled out of the futon. I took a quick glance to see the still sleeping faces of my four dear sisters. Everyone is sleeping happily and I feel control over my face break involuntarily.

I cried on behalf of everyone for the stupid me of the past and how I had dragged them all down. I cried for forgiveness for my past sins and the forgiveness that they had showed me. I cried for having still such selfish feelings when they had only led me to ruin.

Of course, that all happened because of me. From that day, I should have worked harder to study without caring about being special. It was all my fault, not theirs and yet they still stuck with me.

Still, sometimes, I would suddenly think,

'What if things were different when I had met you?'

If I wasn't a quintuplet. If I had transferred to this school alone. Such "If's" and "maybe's" over and over would forever circle my head.

It would be always only be me alone, again and again.

"Such assumptions are useless."

No matter how many delusions I have, reality won't change. Such meaningless things were a waste of time. Rather, it would be much better to go and study instead.

I loved Uesugi-san. That was a fact that I've been aware of for a long time.

But with the same face and the same voice as me, such sisters also loved him.

One of them had shed tears in front of her sisters because of such thoughts. One of them proclaimed "love" with such dignity, even in front of the rest of us. And another worked hard, staying up all night for the person they liked, and such efforts were recognized by him. She succeeded in getting her feelings across.

Everyone is different from me, who can only keep my thoughts to myself.

In the first place, the time we accumulated with him is different.

My sister's happiness is my happiness.

"I've loved you all this time."

If Uesugi-san loved one of them, I can finally give up my love.

So today, as well, I lie to myself once more.

Right now, it didn't feel like a lie anymore.

* * *

**TN: ****I was pretty impressed with how much anguish this fic got from me so I knew I needed to do it. **

** I kinda wish someone would expand on Yots transferring by herself. I've been thinking of doing it but I don't think I'd want to do such a straightforward love story. Yots is life, Yots is suffering, after all.**


End file.
